Greetings All ~
Let's start with a little drill or exercise or whatever you wanna call it.
Make a list of the things you love the most. You can write it down or do it mentally.
I'll wait...
Here's mine:
My sons
Family
The Universe
Music
Good Food
My home
Friends
The movies
Yoga
Travel
Collaboration
Nature
Life in general
Did you include yourself? I didn't. So where was I? I could fool myself and say that I am, of course, included in each of those things. But the fact is, when it came down to it, I, myself, did not make the list. This is tricky for me. I've never bought into the whole "You're perfect just the way you are" thing. That negates my concept of karma. "God doesn't makes mistakes" is simply not something I believe. And finally, I don't have the clock on "divine timing." Who really does? But actually, I'm not on the list because my Self is not seeing Me.
Much of the time we believe what others tell us we are. We see ourselves through the "truth" of someone else's perception. And it can be true. It can also be the cause of confusion, self-doubt, fear of failure, hubris or delusion, simply because it's not true—it's not You. If there is too much faith put into the view someone else has of us, we may not be honoring all that we are or all that we're becoming. Our desire to be helpful or accommodating may have us unknowingly taking on the ideas others have of us. Often, these are the ways they'd like themselves to be seen.
And to turn it around, don't assume your perception of another is true. I remember saying to a dancer friend of mine that I wished I had a body like hers. She said, "No you don't. I'm in constant pain and my body feels like it's 70." She had done all that work for years. It had started with a child's innocent joy, turned to passion which was perverted by the demands of the professional dance world. Yet to me and many others, she looked attractive and oh, so perfect.
Cultivating the ability to recognize yourself—from what is felt, experienced and observed from within—is an art, and it is a courage. Practicing that direct perception demands compassion and kindness, not to mention accepting and loving your own shadows and imperfections. The mirror we hold up to ourselves might be foggy or cracked. It could seem as warped as one at a carnival funhouse. Take a look at yourself naked, right out of the shower. Don't suck the gut in, don't turn for the better angle, don't squint. But take a good look through eyes wide with love. Try to accept and admire and, if necessary, forgive.
Start by putting yourself first on your list of things you love!
Here's a little tune of affirmation to help you along...
All Good Things,
Vicky Rose