Greetings All ~
We're Human. One of the hardest things about this danged pandemic is that we haven't been able to plan. Our species' egocentricity demands we decide our future. It fools us into thinking we have control. But things don't always work our way. Oddly, they can work out better than what we planned. Looking in the rearview mirror of our past can put that into perspective.
I didn't plan on becoming a bass guitar player in the Punk Rock scene when I moved to NYC after college. I was going to be an actor. CBGB was across the Bowery from the theater where I worked. I walked in one night and loved it. Music had always been in my life and being a rebel is part of my nature.
I didn't plan on having a substance abuse problem. And when it was still fun, I sure didn't plan on the gift of over 30 years of sobriety.
I didn't plan on meeting my first husband when I stopped to pet his carriage horse on Central Park South. I was rarely in that part of town. We fell in love. That relationship made the concept of Karma real, rather than theoretical.
I didn't plan any of my pregnancies. In fact, my plan was to never have children. Then these souls showed up and I have two wonderful sons who taught me SO much about commitment and how to face the world.
I didn't plan on being widowed or divorced. But on each of those days I tied the knot, something inside me was saying, "Don't do this." Obviously I did anyway, and muddled my way through until the "lesson" was learned—marriage is not for me.
I didn't plan on being a yogi. But I always knew there was an alternative to the status quo. The study of yoga clarified that innate knowledge.
I didn't plan on re-entering the world of music by recording several mantra albums. But here I am back at square one.
I didn't plan on living through a pandemic. But... well, you know.
The list is longer. We all have one. Sometimes the changes don't feel right. As a matter of fact, they can be really painful, daunting or just plain suck. The Buddhists call it the state of Human Suffering. Others call it Fate or Destiny. There are lots of phrases we use to heal the bruises our existence doles out to our Ego.
"What will be, will be." "Make plans and God laughs." "It's Destiny!" "I'm learning the hard way." "It's God's will." "It's a blessing in disguise."
Believe me, I've used them all!
I often struggle with the opposing ideas of Free Will and God's plan. Is the Universe holding me to a forgotten contract made between lifetimes? Do I lose some karmic ground when I try to live the best way I know and then fall back?
What's the Plan? Honestly, I have no idea.
What I am learning is that the mystery is just the mystery—not knowing the unknown. No matter what, the bumps-in-the-road smooth out to a superhighway of blessings. Until I drive over another pothole for a blowout. But it always turns out I have a spare. There are roadmaps of my own making as well as the detours constructed by life's twists and turns. It ain't boring—and it can be miraculously fun!
My plan is to have a plan that will inevitably change. I'd love to know whatyouthink.
Lend a hand, but take care of yourself. Relax, but meditate and practice.
All Good Things,
VickyJapDharamRose