Greetings All ~
When I was a little girl, about 6 or so, I got put to bed as usual. Just for background, I am the youngest. My closest sibling had recently been sent to a residential facility for children with autism. We used to sing and chat and listen to music on the radio as we fell asleep each night. Needless to say, I missed her. This was the time of my day I felt adrift and most lonely for her. I felt abandoned by the older siblings (two other sisters and a brother) as I heard them going about their evening business doing homework, talking to their squeezes on the phone or getting ready for bed. Their lives seemed to be going on as usual, and I was mad they didn't see that I was sad.
I decided to hide under my bed, and waited, imagining the scramble, the worry, and then the great relief that I was safe after all. This'll get them. They'll be horrified I was missing. Maybe I ran away, or worse, had gotten kidnapped! Realizing I wasn't missing, they would all hug me, hold me close, tell me how much they loved me and how happy they were I was, safe, there with them. But they never came. I was under the bed for maybe all of 5 minutes. With a sigh of defeat, I returned to bed and went to sleep.
What was I looking for? Proof of Love. How many times in life do we look for that? One can look in literature and see examples of this. Like when Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn get to attend their own funeral and hear their eulogies. Or when Ebenezer Scrooge is given the vision of his legacy by the Ghost of Christmas Future. We all want to know what people think of us, of course. But what we really want to know is that we're loved.
There are many ways we try to manipulate people into loving us— If I get all A's in school Dad will love me. If I have enough money or beauty I'll be more attractive (translate to loveable). Look at my cool car, my beautiful home, my celebrity, my power. Do you love me now?
The manipulations don't work. We've all heard about the millionaire losing their money and shortly thereafter their spouse. Or the famous actor or rock star that seems to have the world on a string, then something happens, and everyone turns their backs on them. That little me was willing to disappear altogether. But I also wanted to stick around to see the results, the Proof.
The most beloved people are those who give, yet stand their ground. I think of Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jane Goodall, the Dalai Lama. These are people who based their actions on their own true passions and acted with grace. Their goals, accomplishments and extraordinary lives aren't based on striving to be loved, they're based in love and done with love. So, they became loved. No manipulation. Nothing outside themselves.
You don't have to set the world on fire. Just love. Act with love and you'll be loved.
Think of the best meal you've been served or the best meal you have served. Those dinners were extra savory because the person, you or another, created it from that place in the heart. It was done either by loving the action or the person for whom it was made. My grandmother's French toast was the best ever! The proof was in the eating.
Savor the love.
All Good Things,
Vicky Rose
